crazyjerseygirl

As many of you might know I weigh myself every day. It has less to do with being obsessed with my weight and more to do with graph data I am compiling. Yesterday I was at a new low of 193.2 lbs. I did SUCH a happy dance! This morning when I weighed in though I was at 200.2lbs. Now some of you might think that this threw me off my happy wagon, and honestly it could have. I mean a 7lb. weight gain, TOM nowhere in sight, in one day? I must have done something wrong, right? Wrong.

A weight gain that drastic will never occur under normal circumstances. It could have been many things. Extra waste material in my body, some held up water ect. Most of these seemingly horrible gains are usually nothing more than easily explained leftovers on one’s body, and are usually shed just as quickly as they came on. On top of this I also know that this wasn’t a real weight gain because all my clothing fits just the same from day one to day two, not something easily done with 7 extra pounds!

So this blog goes out to all those folks who are seeing huge weight jumps with seemingly no answer. Chill. Do not ruin your mindset by thinking that your diet is done-for, because most likely this is just a blip on the radar. I’ll bet good money that I do not weigh 200.2lbs. tomorrow morning.

~Renee’

Ok, so I wake up at about 7:30 and head off to work at about 8:30.  45 minutes of that time is spent doodling around on my compy (usually  on here these days!) and reading the funnies.  I don’t feel there is enough time to go out for a ride or a run and I was thinking it might be worthwhile to invest in a workout video.   Any suggestions?  I think I would prefer cardio over weights, but I’m open to all suggestions.

Oh and Passover went well, The soup was delish and I got a stuffed pepper with a side of awkward relative conversation!  Ah well, at least I get back at the boyfroiend with awkward Easter conversation this Sunday, Happy Passover x2 everybody!

~Renee’

Food Log

So tonight is the first of 2 Ceders that I get to sit. Yeehaw.
Growing up Catholic makes a Ceder a tricky time.
Will I screw up the 4 questions? (yes when there are no kids the gentile gets em’)
Will I mispronounce the Hebrew and end up saying something embarrassing?
Will I be able to eat anything other than the bitter herbs?
Will I ever get to have dinner?
I got to thinking about the dinner. Now I’m a vegitarian, which means I mainly get to eat matzo, matzo and more matzo tonight, but how about my fellow diners, what are they consuming?
So here it is folks, the basic Ceder breakdown!

You have to have a little of everything, but should you take it easy on the brisket while overdoing it on the matzo ball soup?

Manishevitz wine: at 160 cal. per cup this sweet wine carries a hefty caloric price tag, and you have to drink four! Maybe I’ll just sip tonight and leave Elijah an extra small glass.
Matzo: 111cal per matzo. Not too shabby, but don’t let the cracker like quality fool you! Eating one of these is like eating 2 slices of bread! Keep that in mind and you’ll do ok.
Maror: Depends, but I choose the two most popular.
Romaine Lettuce: 2cal per serving, eat up!
Horseradish: The red and white differ, but an average 7cal per tablespoon is good news!
Matzo Ball Soup: 110cal a cup. This is where I will be spending most of my calories!
Brisket: 310cal for a 3oz serving! Not as bad as one might think! Just remember what a serving is and you will be ok!

I decided not to include sides and dessert, just the traditional foods of Passover, so beware of anything else!

Happy Passover folks, who knows, maybe I’ll do an Easter dinner post as well!
~Renee’

Food Log

Well I’m back, I think.

I’m out of my slump and feeling much better now.  I kinda handle depression like a dude.  I go out and do things and refuse to talk to anyone.  Not healthy, but hey it gets the job done, and I think I’m beginning to feel more like myself again.

In an attempt to catch everyone up, here are 10 things that went on while I was gone.

1.) HR departments rock.  Honestly, they get the job done.

2.) My boss rocks, simply for knowing when to call in HR!

3.) People are leaving work…I’m not….guess who is learning all the new techniques!

4.) My man is having commitment-phobia after buying a new car (yeah I’m confused too).

5.) I got to meet Nobel laurate scientists on tour at work the other day…totally awesome!

7.) Got myself a new washer/dryer.

8.) I began to formally take swing classes to learn how to lead.  I am also designing a class that will be for men only in an attempt to get more leads.

9.) Got a new guy at work, he’s cool.

10.) Found a new place that plays blues/swing/funk almost every night.

Ok that’s it!  Glad to be back folks, here’s to hoping I can get back into the swing of things.

Renee’

Oh and for the record I’m at 197.2, no weight lost, none really gained.  Stasis rocks.

Sorry I have been AWOL guys, as usual work is to blame.
What exactly does one do when the building blocks of life refuse to do what you tell them to? Me? I stay at work till 8pm slicing and dicing em’ until they submit! Unfortunately this means my exercise and diet have taken a back seat. I haven’t fallen off the wagon, but I have slipped a bit. Only a pound gain, but it has reminded me how volatile my weight can be. No worries though, I am back on top of things at work and I am not leaving onederland anytime soon!

I want to further comment on Anj’s blog about emotional eating. Like Anj, I do not eat emotionally, however I used to! Alas, I do not remember a specific moment when I got over this, but I am going to try to recollect what was going on in my life when the change was made.

First thing is I began taking care of myself… literally. The change happened my first year of college while I was away. For the first time I dressed myself in pretty clothes and thought of myself as beautiful. This was a tough transition. It was basically day after day (and month after month!) of me putting on nice clothes and make-up and looking in the mirror and going “ug, I’m gross” and slouching through the rest of my day. Then one day I looked in the mirror and all of a sudden I didn’t look and feel so ugly. Eventually the clothes and the make-up worked and I went from thinking I was the ugliest duckling to a pretty pretty swan!

Another thing that happened is that I became more emotional, I mean I let it ALL out. So yeah not many people liked me about that time, but it helped in the long run. I no longer had to suppress anything and now food wasn’t a comfort, it was just food. Happily I found a nice balance where I am still pretty laid back, but able to let things go when I need to.

Well thats all, I’m off now, have to go yell at a co-worker.
~Renee’

Wow I’m in a $%#@ mood today! Usually things just roll off my back, but for some reason the past 2 day’s have made me want to scream. Alas poor Buddyslim, you take the brunt of this.

So this morning I check my email and there is a TON of e-cards from people in my dance class. We send each other cards on birthdays so I figured they got mine mixed up with someone else’s. So I open one, and then another, and then another. Every last one, congratulating me on my engagement.
The problem you ask?
I’m not engaged. After some snooping I found out the the head of the studio (a woman who has won none of our hearts) has been going around telling people that I’ve gotten engaged! Normally I would laugh this off, but the fact that a woman who I don’t like is spreading what amounts to a rumor about me so freely has me very annoyed. Hell, Buddyslim would know of an engagement before she does!
*grumblemumble*

Secondly, yet another rant:
What is up with people talking about how disgusting they are. I mean an occasional “oh my this ISN’T the dress for me” is all well and fine, but I have read far too many blogs, from mostly women, talking about how gross and fat they are at their current size.
Ok, here comes the mean: GET OVER YOURSELF!
Go in your closet, take out ALL the clothes that don’t fit and donate them. Take out all the sweat-pants, the mumus and the other things that shouldn’t see the light of day and toss them as well. Times are tough, but even the wal-mart has pretty clothes! And those of us with steady jobs and decent incomes (I’m lookin’ at you east coast ladies!) keep the economy going! shop at target or kohls or some little privately owned boutique. Gents, go to the men’s warehouse. A woman can’t say no to a handsome man in a suit!

I don’t care if it fit you x years ago, by the time you get into it again it will be out of style, toss it! Go out and buy something that makes you look and feel like a million bucks, and try on new sizes, see what size you are, do not be ashamed by a number (my closet ranges from size 12 up to 22, all of which fit me well)! If you think you don’t deserve nice clothes or want to wait till you are a size 2 think of this: Do you have a person in your life to whom you are a role model? A son/daughter, niece/nephew, sibling or friend? Would you want them to EVER think that they are disgusting or don’t deserve to look their best? Well I have news for you hunny, actions speak louder than words, and the best way to be a role model is to act like one.

Many of you who write about how you are disgusting are sizes some of us would dream to be. Size 14? I’m gettin’ there. 12? someday. 10? dare I dream? So quit complaining. If I could look damn hot at size 16, you can look damn hot at size 10, 12, 14, 16, 18, all the was up to size infinity!
Look, whether we admit it or not, how we look matters, and all of us want to loose weight to look good, even if it’s not our main reason. It’s fine to say that you are not happy with how you look at a current size, but leave out the self defeating language, all that does is set you up for failure. Because if you ever slip, which many of us do, you will just find yourself disgusting again and give up for another umpteen years. Once you find yourself beautiful, you will want to take care of your body, and all this dieting nonsense will be a-lot easier.

Everyone on here is beautiful (except for the guys, but they are quite handsome). I’ve seen pictures of folks on here who could be plus sized models. I’ve seen fella’s whose faces make me swoon. My very own sweetie makes some of you look like featherweights! If I hear one of ya talk about how gross you are or how disgusting you look one more time I am personally gonna email you with coupons to whatever store will suit your size and a direct order to take control of your body image!

Ok, I think I’m gonna stop now.
Oh, and BTW, I have March 1st. pics up. See for yourself, I’m no drop dead beauty, but I’m certainly not letting that stop me from dressing nice (and yes those pilling sweaters and skirts are nice when you work in a lab)!

~Renee’
P.S. yes I cleaned the mirror after taking that shot. No I don’t live in squalor.

First off, sorry I have been AWOL lately guys, the biology, its been acting up!

Ahh, not much to report, I’m happily shrinking again after a nearly MONTH LONG plateau.  Onderland is wonderful and 198 suits me so much better than 203!

I have noticed, along with other bloggers, talk of giving up.  I’ve read some of the blogs.  Many of you seem to be teetering on the edge.  You don’t want to give up yet, but one more piece of bad news and you will quit.  Well hunny I’m here to tell you that that’s quitter talk.  Heck, look at the paragraph above this one.  ONE MONTH PLATEAU.  Trust me I KNOW frustration.  It’s not the amount of crap in your life, but how you deal with that crap that matters. 

When January came around we had a slew of blogs with “09 is the time!” emblazoned across the title screen.  Now 2 measly months later in early March we have talk of quitting?  What the hell people?  Who gives up and gives in after 2 months!  2 months is nothing!  Would you marry a guy after 2 months, quit a job if you weren’t PERFECT at it for 2 months?  Quit house training the puppy after 2 months?

And for those of you here longer, shame on you!  You should know better!  Everyone has crappy times,  I can understand not having the time/money to work out hard, but the one thing you will always control is what goes in your mouth so make sure what goes in is good!

I have dealt with awful school-mates, abusive boyfriends and co-workers who I would like to send back to 5th grade.  NONE of this makes me want to give up!  My school-mates made fun of me because I was fat.  Big whoop, they were 10!  I’m sure that the vast majority of them have grown into wonderful people.  My ex used my fat to his advantage, telling me that no one else would want me.  Well he got the curb after 3 long years of annoyance.  After 2 longer years of singlehood I found my current sweetie who has loved me though a 30lb. weight gain.  My co-workers are my current annoyance, but I don’t let them get to me, they wanna act like babies, I’ll let em’ have their bottle.

So see, even those of us who normally seem like cheery little bundles o’ joy, yeah we got issues to, we ALL got issues.  Why then are we cheery?  Madness? perhaps.  But I like to think it’s the optimism.  I know that I can do this.  It’s not all that hard.  For pete’s sake I got A’s in freakin organic chemistry!  Loosing weight is a cakewalk!

So for those of you who are thinking of quitting, suck it up! 

~Renee’ , whose 7 year old dog ‘The Bug’ still piddles on the carpet from time to time.

Yep, it’s official, as of this morning I weigh a sweet 199.2 lbs.  Thanks to EVERYONE who took the time to reply to my last (whiney) blog!

Granted this weight loss is accompanied by TOM so I will probably pop back up to 200 afterwards, but I don’t care!  I’m gonna enjoy this while it lasts!  Hell if anything it is jolting me past my plateau.  Who knew that the secret to loosing weight was eating MORE!

Now for the second part of this blog title.  Why I am happy to have to work this weekend.

This past Friday we got a visit from the people at NORD (National Organization for Rare Disorders).  Now our company participates in the Orphan Drug Program which was one of those rare bills that pass unamiously in Congress because, who’s gonna say no?   Basically the idea is that the govt. provides grants for research into rare but horrible diseases.  The one my company worked on is called CAPS (Cryopyrin-Associated Periodic Syndrome).  It’s a rare inflammitory disorder, kinda like having the flu ALL THE TIME.  We put out a drug last year and some of the people who have recieved the drug through NORD (it is quite expensive) were there to say hi.  It was amazing to meet people who were helped my something my company made! 

Ahh so here I am, almost one pound under 200 and full of all sorts of pride!

Think about what you do, nomatter how small that job may seem, your helping someone out.  Be you a clerk, a doctor or a full time mom your making a difference in the world somewheres.  You might not even get to meet the people’s lives who you change , but I assure you, you are doing some good in this world.

~Renee’

I can see how this plateau business can get to people. It’s been almost a month I’ve been fiddling around in the lower 200’s without a move. I tell ya,sometimes I wanna pick up that $@$#% scale and dash it against the wall!

I have to be honest though, I haven’t been perfect. I’ve gotten into the habit of late night snacking. Nothing unhealthy, it’s just that after getting myself to like 1500cal I don’t need anything else! But my sweetie comes home late and has dinner and we put on a movie and, well you know the rest. Unfortunately, it has nothing to do with whether or not I exercised that night either.

I need to reintroduce myself to will power and carrot sticks. I don’t think that is the only thing going on though, so I want to give you guys the basics and see if any suggestions pop up.

Food: I usually have oatmeal (xtra fiber yipee!), fruit and a hard boiled egg. Maybe some yogurt.
Lunch: who knows, it’s somethin’!
Dinner: Usually veggie protein and some dairy.
Snacks: lowfat cheese sticks, fruit, hummus(addiction)

I’ve a few more days of cardio worked in (you can see my schedule in the “No More Mrs. Nice Guy” blog. I admit, I’m coming down with the flu, so exercise has been on the back-burner this week, but otherwise I have been doing pretty well.

Sorry for such a dry blog guys, but I can’t figure this one out on my own. Don’t worry though, I am still chipper, still happy that I am at least not gaining weight and I still realize that tomorrow is another day!

Tonight is going to be veggie burgers (sans bun) and sleep. I await your expert advice! And I promise, if I get below 200, I’ll write another funny blog!
~Renee’

Sorry for disappearing for the past 3 or 4 days, it has been a BUSY weekend.  All happy things, well except the man is sick with a headcold but that’s not too bad.

We all have goals.  One of mine is displayed on the little ticker below this blog entry, 140lbs.  It’s a goal, and it’s a number.  Most of our goals are numbers.  Pounds lost, days exersiced,  push-ups done, I’ve got tons to count.  But now I have a goal that is not numerical at all.

I want a red pencil skirt.

* meow *

yeah baby, I want a candy-apple red, knee length form fitting pencil skirt and I wanna look DAMN good in it!  Granted this has more to do with fit than weight, but it’s gonna take awhile to find the right skirt, let alone find one in plus size, so I’m gonna have to shrink to widen my search!  One of the most important things I’ve learned in life is that it is NEVER the wrong time to be beautiful/handsome.  Don’t wait for that extra 10/20/30 pounds to come off, look beautiful and feel good NOW and you will reap the benifits when the time comes.  Ever curious about why I am almost always upbeat?  I don’t fake it, I honestly think I’m a gorgeous, smart and funny lady.  When I’m having a bad time or stuck at a plateau weight, having that love for myself brings me through those tough times without faultering.  So what if I’m stuck at 202.8?  I look damn good at 202.8!

So tell me ladies and gents, what are your non-numerical goals?  Think about what you want, it can be weight related or not, like fitting in to your grandma’s wedding dress or going back to school.

~Renee’